Sunday, September 6, 2009

So You Want to Be a Hero

Patrick Hero is known to give turgid tutorials about racing, riding hard and all things Hero and a few days ago we just happened to be out on a ride with an old friend Chuck or Charles if you know him formally. It would be great if you could just take a ride with us and someday be called Chuck Hero but it is not as easy as taking a multiple choice test. Essentially there is one test and one test only. You have to ride the Loop and take on the Foxriverberg at least once. It also helps if you solo for the win or even bonk but still manage to limp in with guts and pride as we have all done. Chuck seemed interested and curious so Patrick Hero gave him a little pep talk.I consulted Hero Historian, Jonathan Hero and he also told me some things that may also be of concern. Now these infractions may not keep you from being a hero but they are red flags and you might just have to do the double loop to be called hero. First things no Hero has been seen with a side mirror, moustache bars, or a pannier. However, Jonathan was quick to point out if you were to solo the Loop with all three of these infractions then you maybe the greatest Hero of all time. Were not saying that Chuck was guilty on all fronts and this post is not really at all about Chuck. It is really about those who believe there is a better world out there and want to be a part of it.Chuck does like to drink beer and eat Freedom Frites and nothing is dearer to a Hero's soul. So here is a little challenge to Chuck. Rainy day in the fall. Come out for a Hero rain ride. At least 60 miles. Evening trip to the Hop Leaf. Stop off at Polish Night Club. Vomit on the way to Hideout. and drink two more beers. Or you could do a Matt Hero. Have less than a 100 miles in your body and then do the Double Loop. Or do a Patrick Hero sit up front all day and let the old guys sit on your wheel for a single loop. Your rewards will be many and your son will win a spring classic.

No comments: